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Thursday, August 28, 2008

Sizes does matter..

I don't really know if some people could feel at ease when they have insult or humiliate other people as they think they are just joking. I mean, who gives the authorities or privileges to them to be saying so?

When i was in school, i used to be called CIK PUAN BESAR a.k.a permaisuri agong siti aishah as they "thought" my face was slightly similar like her which i think they said it just because of the size(Not a chance pon kan???kan?) so,i lived on with the name. I got discriminated in school during any events such net ball/volley ball/handball player elections. Only girls with looks and presentable body could be elected as player. I used to the object to be referred to when it comes to sizes. I used to put fake smiles in front of everyone just so they did not know what i gone through.. I dont know if i am paranoid or what but the word BESAR always, always offends me. I lived with the very slow down self esteem and this resulting me as an introvert kind of person.

Until that i discover i am not that bad in the sense of education. I managed to get myself to University and now obtaining the Master Degree Alhamdulillah ... It is not that i want to boast my self in here but the fact that you can stand up by your own feet despite all the condemns and humiliation towards you. World is being created by Allah with variation just for the human to live together and i think those relationship and connection must based on the respect towards each other.


Monday, August 25, 2008

PTD and Shopping.

It has been so long since i updated my blog. I been busy by attending my students viva(which i consider it) and bombarded them with the questions that really intriguing i must say!hahahaha..

So last weekend i attended the PTD exams. After been a long time since i had the last exams, i felt so excited for the exam.I would rather say in general that the questions provided were easy yet not much time was given (i end up tembak about 5 maths questions) and honestly answered all of the sahsiah diri section. I think i flunked out on the Malay essay instead english essay. Sigh.

So myknightandshinningarmour and i went to shopping for the hantaran at KLCC yesterday. The fun part was that i discovered my shoes oasis at KLCC! yippie (ye la, kaki panjang sangat so that i very2 excited that i discover it!). So we shop until we drop and i really2 love the feeling! So i said to myself, so this is how richest would feel when they when shopping?(for me i dont really know whether i would have the chance to do it again or not in the future.. Alhamdulillah we settled down every hantaran items. The next task is the HIV test. I never knew marriage would be this hard..It takes a lot of efforts and planning and executions. Commitment in all. Sighhhhh...






Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Payback time!



I made believe that life is not always beers and skittles. And some times when u are up, definitely there will be time that u will go down. That makes me stop from a hilarious laughter whenever i was in the middle of wackiness. i can never be the same old me i used to be before. My life has changed and i have to face it by myself..

FYI, i am teaching for a tuition class of a whole bunch of budak-budak kelas belakang. When i meant budak-budak kelas belakang, it did not mean that they are not clever but they are lack of attention and their behavior are sometimes intolerable. I was patience enough so i tolerate even more with this kids. Some how i came into conclusion that they are lack of attention and craved for more of it. I think from everyone. Teachers, friends and parents maybe?

I used to be one of them(in the sense, lack of attention, bukan kelas belakang). Back in school. I was a prefect who was ruling my school with my own rules. i came in late but pretend to watch out for the later at the entrance. I brought forbidden items where everyone else were forbidden to do so. I ignored some teachers that i did not like. Like they were never existed. I am terrible student. Now, it is a payback time!Serves me right!.

So, it is not that whats annoys me. What does annoys me most was the payment! It was not worth of all the sweats of high pitch that i served for them in class. yup..i will definitely quit this time and will try some other way to make extra money..

I am tired!Some more tiredness..

I am so terrible tired of finishing my writting. And alhamdulillah, he coorporated well with me this time. got the second draft and he said that i can submit the thesis by this month,yeay! (insyaAlllah). This time around i am so optimistic and forgive me to say this, but i cant even bear it anymore...huhu..

So, cheer up guys!

Friday, August 8, 2008

Quikie me!

Random about me and my life in a quikie (nak balik dah dari opis):

  1. I was on medical leave last two days thanks to the toxin of blood cockle that i ate. Resulting me severe tummy cramps and headaches.
  2. I bought some hantaran stuff already and my jahitan manik improved on my test item. Can proceed to the next task which is my baju nikah.hehehe
  3. Im on the verge of completing my thesis after a long long long way..huh. Ini adalah rentetan daripada semangat yang baru saya dapat daripada kak yan, my collegues.
  4. Kak yan already graduated (UM) yo! Tahniah!!
  5. Mint the clerk pregnant for her second child.Congrats!
  6. Just got a new handphones from myknightandshinningarmour. Again, bersamamu segment kah?..This time yang ada camera.huhu we are so so so behind technology, sian kitorang...
  7. We have new celcom numbers. I will give u my number soon ya?
Till then, have a good weekend ahead! ;) wink2!

Monday, August 4, 2008

I am missing something...

Saya berasa amat bosan dengan keaadaan seperti ini sekarang. Tiada kemajuan, sebarang pencapaian yang membanggakan pun tidak nampak batang hidungnya. Diri, maafkan saya kerana terlalu tinggi harapan digantung!

To add up pain in the heart, myknightandshinningarmour just left me! No. No. No, it is not what u are thinking. He left me back to Ipoh to continue his job there after almost 14 days spent here in KL. Was i mushy? Was i dependent enough so that i really feels he is not here with me?

So again i really feel i am not being myself anymore. Since i am convinced enough by myself that i am independent girl and do all my own things without any help (oh yes, i paid my car, house rent and bills, lots of them) by my own, i felts something is missing deep in my heart. Alahai! gelabahnye aku ni kan? But thats the fact. I miss him! and i never missed someone like this before! (Even i had a llooooootsss of exs)...useless one though..

I am independent, ok? i cant feel or be this way!..not a single time!

Now i could feels the pain one who being left by the husband either they passed on or they just left. It really hurts when you love someone and you just really dont showed it that much..

Or..maybe you and i, together we can blame my imbalance hormones (dah dekat due kot)..So this way i became lil mushy and lembek!!yak takssss!!

Ohh i reallyy misssss himm!!!

Ye, this is the time you all can call me minah jiwang..Busukkk