I am totally exhausted of having this thinking that bothers me so much for last couple of days.
A friend of mine, a closed one who has been single for a while now, happily with the new person in her life. And as her besties, i am truly happy for her. That she has found her true happiness. She is deeply madly in love with the guy.
I have no problem with that.
But here is the catch.
Why is on earth, i am feeling something is just not right about this guy? The way he speaks and made others laugh when we were attending a wedding of a friend of us, i think it is a liiiiiillllll bit uncomfortable. Annoying at a time? Yes. And the guy succeeded to make me so low self esteem.I do not understand of why there are some people that likes to make fun of everyone else and they tend to ignore the peoples feelings by their words.
Basically i am fuckin dont care. I also can simply say those words back but i think, it is useless as their shallow brain does not fit the head for much i can see. Why can you just being polite and even so, just shut your damn mouth from hurting others?You are not that good though.
Am i wrong of having this bad intuition towards my bff as she had her happiness right now?
Yang ni tiba-tiba: And my father, i have not seen him for a time i think. apa aku nak masak for dinner tonite? hubby went to grik.. And i miss aiyris, so much. Updates on aiyris, later yo! nak balik. but must solat first!
Aku rasa hari jumaat ni kan tak elok nak mengumpat (erk, bukan hari2 pun tak leh ke?)
Ada orang tu, depan pengarah kan, dia buat-buat busy gile, sampai aku sapa pun tak layan (hey, ko ingat ko miss universe ke nak sume orang balas sapaan ko ha. gila pompuan ni dah datang). Tapi perempuan ni tak kisahlah kan walaupun muka memang obviously la.
So, perempuan ni pun mula la risau tak keruan sebab markah untuk kerja dia nanti akan dinilai la oleh prang tu. Hampeh kelapa betol la. Ish, perempuan ni dahla kayu, tak pandai bodek memang daridulu kayu lah senang cerita. Dulu masa sekolah-sekolah dulu selalu kengkawan dok lepak meja cikgu berborak itu ini, perempuan ni lebih rela tido atas meja sampai kekadang air liur basi penuh satu meja ieiiii busuk napela cerita tentang kebenaran hari ni?
So, perempuan ni kalau boleh taknak dah tengok muka orang-orang spesies macam tu, boleh ke?
Tak jawapannya tak. Tak paham ke tak orang cakap ha? Sebab korang satu opis dan dia ketua kepada perempuan tu.
Owhh, orang yang perempuan tu tak suka lak ada anak kesayangan dan anak kebencian dia adalah perempuan ni lah.
Right now i feels like a bullet has made its way through my chest!
I am not sure whether his natural way of condemning people is good or it is just purely damn good.
I salute you for the title that you have. I respect you for the achievements that you got the whole of your life.
But these. Is way too much old folk!
This first bullet, of not recognizing my qualification, This second bullet, of not respecting me as a mother as you said that taking care of a child is just damn easy for you back those days and why i cant do the same as you were. This third bullet, of slandering me that i am not doing my job.
And i am taking that bullet soon enough. I will take it out, enjoying the pain as i could. I will take it out with my own way. With all the sweetest time that i got.
I practically DO NOT CARE. Do i look LIKE I CARE?!