Saja je

Lets the pics do the talkin k?

Lama dah tak upload and update gambar Aiyris. Gambar tu masa dia naik buai sebulan yang lepas.

About the bisnes, im workin on it guys, setakat ni dah ada yang interested. nanti i will upload the pics, skang tgh nego dgn dia punya sole distributer.

chao! salam..

Perubahan hidup.

Business in progress.

Coming soon near you.

15

You take a deep breath and you walk through the doors
It’s the morning of your very first day
You say hi to your friends you ain’t seen in a while
Try and stay out of everybody’s way

It’s your freshman year and you’re gonna be here
For the next four years in this town
Hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say
You know I haven’t seen you around
Before

Cause when you’re fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You’re gonna believe them
And when you’re fifteen
Feeling like there’s nothing to figure out
Well count to ten, take it in
This is life before you know who you’re gonna be
Fifteen

You sit in class next to a redhead named Abigail
And soon enough you’re best friends
Laughing at the other girls who think they’re so cool
We’ll be out of here as soon as we can

And then you’re on your very first date and he’s got a car
And you’re feeling like flying
And you’re momma’s waiting up and you’re thinking he’s the one
And you’re dancing round your room when the night ends
When the night ends

Cause when you’re fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You’re gonna believe them
When you’re fifteen and your first kiss
Makes your head spin around but
In your life you’ll do things greater than dating the boy on the football team
I didn’t know it at fifteen

When all you wanted was to be wanted
Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now

Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday but I realized some bigger dreams of mine
And Abigail gave everything she had to a boy that changed his mind
And we both cried

Cause when you’re fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You’re gonna believe them
And when you’re fifteen
Don’t forget to look before you fall
I’ve found time can heal most anything
You just might find who you’re supposed to be
I didn’t know who I was supposed to be
At fifteen

You’re very first day
Take a deep breath, girl
Take a deep breath as you walk through those doors

Confident. Emm! (baca ala-ala iklan sunsilk yang budak perempuan sapa tah tu cakap)

Really down motivated at the early stage of the day. Feeling accelerated at the middle.

This morning me and aiyris woke up together. And together we yawned. Having seen that, i laughed. But still feeling that 5 tonnes buckle of stones on my chest. Feeling so lazy as if the gravity pulled me twice than normal day. Sigh. What an exaggeration i had kan?

So, this morning i had the briefing about the centrifuge machine that done by this one supplier that i happened to know once during my previous workplace. I bet he wondered who i am because he kept glanced over me in wonder. Haha. I let the mystery remains. The catch for today, he had this trouble in clarifying some terms and i felt very,very itchy to just correct him. He comes from the one who more likely to say "what do you one (want)? you know what i mean?But i remain silent. Just the matter of respect.

As i went along the briefing about the machine, i had always one question that i need to ask to the person who handle the machine. And i asked him with (i think) very clear, easy-to-understand sentence. Like this:

"What if we want to spin it more than 11000 rpm then? " and All eyes on me. He looked at me in bewilderment.

"I am sorry, i could not understand your question" he said. So i have to explain to him. One by one. How on earth he could become a supplier with that capability of to understand, let alone the speaking skills?

I am not here to boast around, and i know what is the level of my english, but then, i feel very amused at the people who feel very confident and have a very high self-esteem. compared to me.

WOW.

First entry tahun baru dah tak best.

Tahun baru.

1)minggu depan aiyris Zarra dah 3 bulan. apa perkembangan terbaru dia? dia dah pandai senyum2, gelak kekek2 sampai kuar suara. Pastu tidur tak nak ata bouncer dia lagi dah. Nak tidur sebelah mommy dia. hehehe. gile comel anak aku sendiri.Cet.

2) Jumaat sabtu ahad ni aku kena kerja. bosan. BIG TIME!

3) Orang Melayu bila berniaga, ok, korang tengok eh, bila dah ada untung sket, sabtu ahad dah taknak niaga dah. contoh makcik yang jual kuih dekat denagn umah aku ni. Dahla kuih dia sedap. K, kes kedua plak, supplier chemical aku ni, aku minta quotation berjanggut la nak tunggu. padahal aku dah nak set up lab tissue culture ni, mestila bisnes busar kan?

Bengong.

Like a lioness protecting her cubs, Happy new Year? Yea rite ;(

Dah nak masuk tahun baru. Saya perasan yang tahun 2009/2008 sangat banyak entry saya yang luka-lara-sedih-menanges sume. Tapi, yang melenyapkan semua itu adalah "The ultimate birth of my baby girl, Aiyris Zarra."

Seriously, when i look at her, all the dooms and looms are gone in the blink of an eye. Macam, bila balik kerja penat-tension dan busuk, bila pandang muka Aiyris Zarra, sejuk je hati. Tengok mata dia yang jernih tu, lega!

Tak percaya? Cuba korang try buat. Bila tension atau susah hati, cari la baby mana-mana and look in their eyes.

It sort of therapy you know?

Dulu before kawen pun, i was not really kid-kinda person. Pegang anak orang pun tak reti sangat dan bila tengok baby-baby lain tak lah teruja sampai menjerit comelnye bagai. Tapi bila tengok anak yang dilahirkan sendiri bertarung nyawa, sayang gila and rasanyalah, kalau nyamuk nak gigit dia pun aku boleh kejar sampai zoo negara kat ulu kelang (tetibe).

Seriously. Dulu, i never know/appreciate the feeling with kid or baby. bila dah jadi ibu ni, rasa macam nak give everything that the best for the child. Like, biarlah aku yang kena demam/sakit mata/cirit-birit daripada Aiyris Zarra yang kena. Biarlah aku yang panas berpeluh waktu malam asalkan Aiyris Zarra dapat kipas dan selesa tidur.

Ini rupanya perasaan seorang ibu ;) (tiba-tiba aku paham, like a lioness protecting her cubs.)

A lioness protecting her cubs? biar betul, garangnye aku? Tak. ini influence tengok banyak sangat National Geographic.

HARAM... (tajuk kali ini memang keras sikit sebab aku tension)

Sangat-sangat menyampah dan bosan bila tak ada internet di pejabat dan terpaksa meminjam komputer kawan dan bila balik rumah pun tiada internet.

Bosan!

Dan saya rasa mula membenci seseorang dalam hidup saya. Sebab dia, keluarga saya jadi hancur begini.Ya, saya mahu meninggalkannya. Selamanya. Sejauh-jauhnya sehingga dia tidak dapat mencari saya lagi untuk kepentingan dirinya. Biar dia bahagia bersama "orang baru" dalam hidupnya. "orang baru" yang saya kira haram. "Orang baru" yang terbaru. Baru sebulan!

Kononnya "Orang baru" ni baiklah, tahfiz konon. Apa jadahnya kalau pakai tudung rambut blonde sebab dye yang murah dan tergedik-gedik macam perempuan pelacur?!Memang haram.

Haram sebab dia memang tidak mempunyai keizinan untuk hadir dan tinggal di bumi di sini. Dia layak hanya berada di sana. Dan saya kira dia memang haram kerana dia memang haram. Menggedik-degik di hadapan kakak saya. Mujur saya tidak berada di sana pada waktu itu. kalau tak..

Memang dia haram. Dua-dua pun dah jatuh hukumnya haram. Haram kerana dia menzalimi saya dan semua sejak kecil. Haram kerana dia masih tak sedar-sedar.

Memang dia haram buat saya.

Dan kalau sesiapa rasa saya tidak berhak untuk menjadi seperti ini sekarang ini. Then talk to my face. I dont really F%@#$&^G care!

Kau memang boleh buat aku dan semua macam ini, Memang kau boleh tengking herdik dan pukul kami. Suatu hari nanti bila duit dan harta kau habis dikikis, dan kau merempat sebab dibuang oleh kedua-dua "orang baru" yang kau sembah tu, kau jangan cari aku lagi.Tapi Allah itu maha Adil. Dan diam-diam kami bukan kosong tapi berisi. Semoga Allah tunjukkan kau ke jalan yang benar.

Saya ingin lari!