Selamat hari ibu..

Saya tiada ibu lagi. Sudah lapan tahun berlalu. Saya masih lagi rasa kehilangan itu. Rasa kosong itu masih ada. Tiada yang dapat menggantikan tempatnya lagi. Ya, hidup mesti diteruskan.

Saya ada gambar dengan ibu. Cuma gambarnya dalam hard copy.
Saya tak perlu mempamirkanya disini. Ia ada dalam ingatan saya. Wajah ibu, maksud saya.

I do not want to be mellow today.
Tapi, bila ada rakan sekerja yang baru kehilangan ibu bulan lepas beritahu saya tadi, saya jadi terpempan. Saya turut bersedih. Tapi rasa numbness itu ada kekal tadi.

Bagi orang yang pernah merasai kehilangan ibu, tahulah rasa itu.
Bagi yang menghargai ibu mereka, tahniah.

Tapi bagi yang membuat ibu mereka merana? Yang mengherdik ibu yang melahirkan, yang mengabaikan ibu mereka, tambah pula yang menyeksa, sepak terajang ibu yang pernah membelai mereka. Saya tiada kata lain. Neraka jahanamlah tempat mereka kalau mereka masih lagi tak sedar akan keberdosaan mereka itu.

Macam rancangan semanis kurma minggu lepas, seorang ibu mengadu, anaknya sendiri memukul, menyeksa dan sanggup memfitnah ibu dia sendiri. Nauzubillah.

Buat mereka yang seperti itu, saya selalu terfikir, tidak tahu dosa kah mereka ini?
Kamu tidak lagi kehilangan mak, kamu tak tahu lagi apa rasanya.

Anyway, saya rindu sangat-sangat arwah ibu saya..

Quit or not?

I been sitting here, so deep-in-thought of quitting my job. But so much in my mind that bears me. and hold me into stagnant.

This workplace are:

1. Too far away from my home. I had to commute 70km daily.
2. The salary is so so so not worth the tasks. I bet you, my sis with just her minimal qualification (SPM) is way better than me.
   

Okay, that just the reason i could reveal here. I am so dissapointed with everything that happened and thus blaming myself for the fact that i had over-expected from myself. I had no idea where went wrong. Maybe this is life. This is it.

I had to call it a day.

Chaoww.

Ne me quitte pas...

Ne me quitte pas
Il faut oublier
Tout peut s'oublier
Qui s'enfuit déjà
Oublier le temps
Des malentendus
Et le temps perdu
A savoir comment
Oublier ces heures
Qui tuaient parfois
A coups de pourquoi
Le coeur du bonheur

Ne me quitte pas
Ne me quitte pas
Ne me quitte pas
Ne me quitte pas

Moi je t'offrirai
Des perles de pluie
Venues de pays
Oÿ il ne pleut pas
Je creuserai la terre
Jusqu'après ma mort
Pour couvrir ton corps
D'or et de lumière
Je ferai un domaine
Oÿ l'amour sera roi
Oÿ l'amour sera loi
Oÿ tu seras reine

Ne me quitte pas
Ne me quitte pas
Ne me quitte pas
Ne me quitte pas
Ne me quitte pas

Je t'inventerai
Des mots insensés
Que tu comprendras
Je te parlerai
De ces amants-là
Qui ont vu deux fois
Leurs coeurs s'embraser
Je te raconterai
L'histoire de ce roi
Mort de n'avoir pas
Pu te rencontrer

Ne me quitte pas
Ne me quitte pas
Ne me quitte pas
Ne me quitte pas

On a vu souvent
Rejaillir le feu
De l'ancien volcan
Qu'on croyait trop vieux
Il est paraät-il
Des terres brulées
Donnant plus de blé
Qu'un meilleur avril
Et quand vient le soir
Pour qu'un ciel flamboie
Le rouge et le noir
Ne s'épousent-ils pas

Ne me quitte pas
Ne me quitte pas
Ne me quitte pas
Ne me quitte pas

Ne me quitte pas
Je ne vais plus pleurer
Je ne vais plus parler
Je me cacherai là
A te regarder
Danser et sourire
Et à t'écouter
Chanter et puis rire
Laisse-moi devenir
L'ombre de ton ombre
L'ombre de ta main
L'ombre de ton chien

Ne me quitte pas
Ne me quitte pas
Ne me quitte pas

Ne me quitte pas

Don't leave me We must forget All we can forget all we did till now Let's forget the cost of the breath We've spent saying words unmeant And the times we've lost hours that must destroy Never knowing why everything must die at the heart of joy Don't leave me don't leave me Don't leave me don't leave me I'll bring back to you the pearls of rain From a distant domain where rain never fell And though I grow old I'll keep mining the ground To deck you around in gold and light I'll build you a domain where love's everything Where love is king and you are queen Don't leave me don't leave me Don't leave me don't leave me Don't leave me For you I'll invent Words and what they meant only you will know Tales of lovers who fell apart and then fell in love again There's a story too that I can confide Of that king who died from not meeting you Don't leave me don't leave me Don't leave me don't leave me And often it's true that flames spill anew From ancient volcano's we thought were too old When all's said and done scorched fields of defeat Could give us more wheat than the fine April sun And when evening is nigh with flames overhead The black and the red aren't they joined in the sky Don't leave me don't leave me Don't leave me don't leave me Don't leave me I will cry no more I will talk no more hide myself To look at you and see you dance and smile And hear you sing and laugh Let me be for you the shadow of your shadow The shadow of your hand the shadow of your dog Don't leave me don't leave me Don't leave me don't leave me

I love this song ever since i heard it from the first time. OOhhh i wish i could speak french. Seeing it's meaning, i was so beautiful.

Enjoy!

Be patience, i told myself

Instead of having this urgency of end-furnished my powerpoint slides for the my master degree viva this coming tuesday, i never felt as ignorance as i can be to day. I mean i have to complete it today and send it to my superior late-supervisor. And i have this doubt to invite my ex supervisor to attend to this viva simply becuse some reasons i culd not mention here. Still, I linger on in here, blogging whatever that occur in my ignorance mind..

So, this has brought me into a deep consideration of having thoughts of my own in the office. What? Dont you have works to do?

Just so you know, i am not a whinner. Ok, some times i whines to my closest friends and family but not to all.

So just so you know too, i have been working without salary almost 2 months now.

Still, i never whines to my ignorance boss.
I have loaded with so much work. Mainly were last minute notice works.
But i managed to done it on time.
Without salary.I been working for free.

I believe that this hurdles is one of the way of Allah wanna to test His servants.

Sabar...sabar...sabar....

5 things that inside you...

I must admit that procrastination in me is gonna conquer me till the end unless, i do something about it. My dear friend, Ayin, had tagged me long time ago, and im sorry for the delayed too. Some might know how fond i am into the tagging, So here it goes:

5 things found in my bag

1. Wallet
2. Mini make-up bag (konon2)
3. A pencil case
4. Minyak angin
5. Pen drive

5 things found in my wallet

1. Some Ringgit notes.
2. My bank book.
3. Bank Cards
4. I.C
5. Driving license

5 favourite things in my room

1. My Wall paper
2. T.V
3. Computer (Main game je keje aku)
4. My Sultan-Ikea Mattress
5. Air cond.

5 things I've always wanted to do

1. Getting Rich.
2. Travel to places i like (FYI, i never fly, sedih kan?)
3. Further PHD
4. Having my own company
   
5. Trim me down, please?

5 things I'm currently into

1. Interviews sessions (selling my self out people)
2. Pizzas making (im gonna having blog about this later)
3. Power Pointing
4. PS2 (i know-i know, it is too late already)
5. Self knowing.
   

5 people to tag

1. Yong
2. Yan
3. Ponny
4. Pona
   
5. Shamsul Alam.

My Wedding day..

It has been a very very very long time since i promised all you guys my wedding pics and the stories behind it. Well, i am very very very sorry for the delayed and the reasons for that were i been busy with work and hectic with life. How about that? emm yela tu kan?

So, frankly speaking, i dont know where to start. To begin with, i would like to thanks for all family members, friends and the lists goes on and on...

She is actually a he, my make up man for the day. Thanks Kak mint! hehehe. So hedious of me before the make up.. dont you think?

Ha, thats me. Fidgeting me. Preparing for the akad nikah.

Still me, being touched up by my brides maid, Doredot. thanks to her that accompany me.

I know, i know. I am fat. That baby fat on my cheek never ever wanna leave me.

OOhh, ini pakteh saya, bukan ayah saya, ramai yang ingat dia ayah saya pada hari itu, tengok dia tersenyum je. Gembira mungkin?

Ha, ini barulah ayah saya. Pak Ipin, garang. takut. Sedih.


Selesai Akad, Saya bersyukur sebab ada lelaki yang mahu sehidup semati bersama saya, Alhamdulillah..


Inilah lelaki malang yang mahu hidup bersama saya..Huwahuwahuwahuwa (sila gelak style setan pada ketika ini, muehehehehe) takdelah, he is lucky whattt....kan?

Eh, eh, ada dua ekor rama-rama! My flower girls! Saya sangat-sangat berterima kasih pada kakak saya, yang bersungguh-sungguh menjadikan dua ekor rama-rama ini kenyataan!

Athirah Natasya: Rama-rama pertama.

Saya bersama rama-rama kedua: Nurul Khadeeja a.k.a Jejajo.


The Hall.

Tengok aksi Jejajo. Apa kena tah.

Ye... Kami memang suka makan...

My girls. Thanks you guys!! Memenuhi permintaan saya yang inginkan mereka semua memakai baju putih.Angels, kan?


Hey!

Surrounding by the beautiful womens. Suke la tuh!


Me and the Angels.

Tetamu yang saya sangat-sangat anticipated for. Ayin &zul, Kak long and her hubby. Jauh tu import!


Gambar standard.

So, till i get the mood back on track, i'll upload you some more!

Take care people!

My wedding

Will be updated soon,
Stay tuned for the drama..